my endless melancholies
My dearest Paul,
As my life spirals downwards into a pit that I imagine to be a stone well in a forest where wolves howl only to signal the end of another day, I often think of you as the days drag by. I dream of you and wake up horrified and shaken, unable to sleep without hallucinations of you standing by my bed, wishing me a farewell into Hell. Through all of my sins, you are my biggest mistake. When the night grows dark in this chilly Winter you’re all I think of as I pray to Him watching from above, wishing for the absolution of my misdeeds.
